


Don't Call Me Darling

by HappyPoodle



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Post-Skyfall, Protective James Bond, Socially inappropriate Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5820640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyPoodle/pseuds/HappyPoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Bond is the best at what he does. Unfortunately, what is considered acceptable in the high stakes world of espionage is decidedly less so in real life. Eve learns this the hard way after an off-hand comment is taken the wrong way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Call Me Darling

Eve sighs and leans into John slightly as they exit the restaurant. “Thank you. That was just what I needed.”

John smiles fondly at her and tucks her hair behind her ear. “It was the least I could do after last night.” 

Eve shakes her head. “No. You were right. I’ve hardly spent a night at home in the last two weeks. Work has been heinous lately, and-”

“And I knew what your life was like going in.” John stops her. “ It wasn’t fair to throw it in your face like that when you’ve never been anything but honest with me about it. I made my bed; I can’t complain when it comes time to lie in it.”

“And here I was under the impression you rather enjoyed our time in bed!” Eve laughed. “But in all seriousness, work is _always_ heinous. I could try a little harder to get home before midnight.” She winked at John. “Maybe let you give that bed idea another chance.”

John squeezed her tighter against him. “Now, that sounds like an idea I could get behind!” They arrive at his flat and he stops at the entrance, fumbling for his keys.

“Here, let me.” Eve pulls out her own keys and opens the door herself. She’s barely inside when she realizes they aren’t alone. Her breath catches in her throat and for a second she wishes she were someone else; someone who didn’t have to deal with shadows hiding in the dark. The moment passes, and she’s shoving John behind her and raising her gun. “Put your hands where I can see them and turn the chair around. _Now_.” 

“Going to shoot me again, are you?” 

She’d recognize that voice anywhere. “Fucking hell, Bond! What’re you playing at?” She puts her gun up, but not away. “You better have a bloody good reason for being here.” As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she remembers. “Oh, tell me this isn’t what I think it is.” 

_It had been a meaningless comment, spat out as they wait for their mark to show. She should never have told Bond about John. He’d been like a dog with a chew toy ever since. But it had been cold and wet and she’d been bored out of her mind so she’d actually replied when he’d asked how things were going. “I don’t know. John got drunk and was a bit of an ass last night. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t kick him out.”_

_Bond had shot her a sharp look. “Oh. Giving you trouble is he?”  
_

She had pulled her coat closer, already regretting her answer. “Not really, no. Look, I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

_It had looked like he wanted to ask her something more but their mark showed and she’d forgotten about the whole thing._

Bond stands, straightening his cuffs.. “Why don’t you leave us a moment, Moneypenny? John and I need to have a chat.”

John’s gone white as a sheet. It looks like he might pass out. “No!” Eve raises a finger. “No, Bond! You are _not_ allowed to terrorize my boyfriend!” She realizes belatedly she’s shaking a finger at him like he’s a dog who’s pissed on the rug. _Oh well. Can’t say he doesn’t deserve it._

“Now, Eve,” Bond holds his hands up in front of him, “I know this is hard for you..”

“Oh, fuck off!” she snarls. “You don’t get to make me look like the irrational one here. Not when you broke into my flat and hid in the dark! People don’t _do_ that, Bond.”

He takes a step back, looking slightly shocked. “I’d argue that _I_ do it all the time.” She just raises an eyebrow at him and he sighs. “Oh, all right. I’ll admit, I was slightly out of line. You can’t blame me for being jumpy, not after,” he shoots John a look, “that scare at the office.”

Eve sighs. She knew M’s death had hit Bond harder than he’d let on. She’d been expecting some sort of breakdown from him for weeks. She just hadn’t expected it to look quite like _this_. “Oh, Bond.” She shakes her head. “What will we do with you?”

“Well,” John suggests, “we could feed him dinner?” Bond turns to stare at him and Eve lets out a delighted laugh. This is why she loves him. After all of this, his first thought is to be _kind_. He’s still white as a ghost and his voice is wavering, but he’s pulling himself together. She wonders if he’d make the same offer if he knew who Bond was and realizes with some horror that he probably would. 

“Bloody hell,” Bond says. “It was bad enough when I thought he was beating you, but _this_...” He shakes his head. “What would you do if I’d been a murderer? Or if I’d had a gun?”

“Well,” John said evenly, “I reckon you _do_ have a gun, but either way, I’d leave it to Eve. There’s not much that’s a match for her. I’d only muck things up and get in her way.” 

Bond stares at him a moment and then laughs. “Ah, I should have trusted your judgement darling.”

“Yes. Quite.” Eve finally puts her gun back in it’s holster. “And don’t call me darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't shake the idea of a socially inappropriate James Bond who breaks into people's homes and doesn't even realize it isn't normal. I wrote this really quickly and have no beta, so I hope there aren't too many mistakes. It isn't exactly my best work, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head.


End file.
